The Right to Dream

“To dream anything that you want to dream. That's the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed.” Bernard Edmonds

You must become strategic and deliberate in your life-hood experiences. You do have a choice in the experiences you share within your lifetime. The choice may never be obvious but it does always exist. We must start to invest our energy in direct connections with our life long goals. Hard work is not always enough to obtain the goal. It is a mistake to believe that hard work alone always yields great results. This ideology of hard work alone embeds a person with misunderstanding the purpose of hard work. The truth is that having effort alone doesn’t necessarily mean you are effective and that in order to obtain a goal, you must be able to visually foresee its occurrence within your future. Are you a dreamer? Does your thoughts inter-scope all your capabilities or wants in an ability? In other words, you must BELIEVE the goal is possible for existence into your life. Regardless of those who oppose your dreams, the chaos or undesired situations impacting your life’s current settlement. You cannot win against that which you will not see and confront to change. Therefore, it posses the question: Are you fighting to obtain a goal without aim? Periodically, all of us face those seasons of life that are difficult to survive. Often these seasons of uncertainty are brought about by circumstances seemingly out of our control. However, the choice for change is still yours.

Part of your learned education from previous experiences or mistakes, require assessing correctly what you have in your personality that can empower your arsenal of weaponry to force desired outcomes through demonstration to the universe of the opportunities you want to engage in. If you have the tools in your heart that match the information you have in your head to the desire you have of your soul, then you can begin to find the most powerful areas for convergence to take place. You must know your dreams are able to come true.

Mindfully, you must fully conceive and trust the idea to interface your reality. The combination of a focused mind and an impassioned heart can be so helpful in determining what we are really meant to do with our lives. With your God-given abilities to move mountains with the usage of having faith and belief, so too can having faith and belief progress your desired reality into progressive existence. You can choose to use your previous experiences as wind beneath your wings by moving beyond the limits of our past mistakes, transforming folly into wisdom, frustration into fuel, and denial into the detonator of explosive change. The failures of the past can become battle scars that toughen your hide and make you more resilient and resourceful moving forward, if you will only believe!
Jakes, T. (2007). Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits

The only thing certain about life is that it will and always does change. We’re forced to keep the change in our lives whether we want to or not, realizing that the best of situations can turn on a dime and become the worst crisis we’ve faced. So many of life’s hardships derive their power from the unexpected timing of the punch that catches us off guard. Although all of us face these rails, it seems that some people have a secret edge that enables them to withstand the vicissitudes of life. Basically, these people simply manage the challenges of life better than others through consistent belief and faith that their dreams can STILL become their reality. Staying focused toward their dream regardless of life’s obstacles is a symbolic reference to their faith and belief. Thus, they are thereby able to expend their energies on winning their obtainable goal rather than merely enduring the disarray life will bring into existence, threatening to detonate their careful plans with the shrapnel of the unexpected. How are you handling your dreams?

The Fairness In Freedom

“All citizens of a state cannot be equally powerful, but they may be equally free.” Voltaire

Two hundred and thirty-three years ago a small band of valiant men & women began a long struggle for freedom. They pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor, not only to found a nation, but to forge an ideal of freedom; not only for political independence, but for personal liberty; not only to eliminate foreign rule, but to establish the rule of justice in the affairs of men. That struggle was a turning point in our history. Today in far corners of distant continents, the ideals of those stated American patriots to explore and shape the American Nation into a sense of freedom; through the ‘Melting-Pot, Democracy & Equality’ hypocrisy tail still shape the struggles of men who hunger for freedom in other countries. Freedom for our American Nation as it stands in today’s society is currently described as, ‘fairness’. An American History of gaining slaves freedom has shaped itself into the mask of being able to be equated with fairness against others of a different race. Truly this would be a proud triumph for our American county to gain development & positive practice on. Yet those who founded our country knew that freedom would be secure only if each generation fought to renew it and enlarge its meaning.

From the Minutemen at Concord to the soldiers in Vietnam, to our current war on Iraq; each generation has been equal to that trust. This trust is embedded in the assurance that the United States Government will reform this nation into a true demonstration of a ‘Melting Pot, Democracy & Equality’ truth. Americans of every race and color have died in battle to protect the ideology of freedom. Americans of every race and color have worked to build a nation of widening opportunities. Now our generation of Americans has been called on to continue the unending search for justice within our own borders. We believe that all men are created equal, yet many are denied equal treatment. Fairness is now our illusionist view of freedom. We believe that all men have certain unalienable rights. Yet many Americans do not enjoy those rights. We believe that all men are entitled to the blessings of liberty. Yet millions are being deprived of the blessings with held in liberty to pursue your dreams. Unfortunately, it’s not because of their own personal failures, but only because of the color of their skin. The reasons are deeply imbedded in our American history and the American tradition encouraged through the nature of a American man’s greed.

The purpose of the American law is simple. It does not restrict the freedom of any American so long as he respects the rights of others. It does not give special treatment to any citizen. It does say that those who are equal before god shall also be equal in places that provide service to the public. We do not approach the observance and enforcement of this law in a vengeful spirit. Its purpose is not to punish. Its purpose is not to divide but to end divisions. Its purpose is national, not regional. Its purpose is to promote a more abiding commitment to freedom, a more constant pursuit of justice and a deeper respect for human dignity. No single act of Congress can by itself eliminate, discrimination and prejudice, hatred and injustice. But an act of Congress can go further to invest the rights of man with the protection of law than any legislation in this entire century. Because first, it provides a code carefully designed to test and enforce the right of every American to go to school, for every American to get a job, for every American to vote and to pursue his life unhampered by the barriers of racial discrimination. Second, it educates all Americans to the responsibility to give equal treatment to their fellow citizens. Third, it enlists one of the most powerful moral forces of American society on the side of civil rights; which is the moral obligation to respect and obey the law of the land. Fourth, and perhaps the most important, this act is a renewal and a reinforcement, a symbol and a strengthening of that abiding commitment to man’s dignity and man’s equality, which always has been the guiding purpose of the American Nation. This law is the product, not of any man or group of men, but of a broad national consensus that every person is entitled to justice, to equality, and to a chance to enjoy the blessings of liberty.

The Civil Rights Act is a challenge to men of good will to transform the commands of our law into the customs of our land. It is a challenge to all of us to go to work in our states, in our communities, in our homes, and most of all, in the depths of our hearts, to eliminate the final strongholds of intolerance and hatred. It is a challenge to reach beyond the content of the bill, to conquer the barriers of poor education, poverty, squalid housing; which are legacies of past injustice and impediments to future advance. It sets goals to improve the lives of all underprivileged Americans. Fulfillment of rights and prevention of disorder go hand in hand. Resort to violence blocks the path to racial justice. We must maintain law and order among our own citizens. Those who would hold back progress toward equality and, at the same time, promise racial peace, are deluding themselves and the people. Orderly progress and exact enforcement of law is the only path towards an end of racial strife.
Johnson, L. (1964) My Hope For America.

Genius Leadership

“Genius…means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an unhabitual way!” William James

The challenges that today’s business leaders face is quite similar, regardless of the industry or profession in which they operate. These challenges include delivering services and products of highest quality, creating and preserving values of multiple stakeholders, building & maintaining sustainable relationships, caring for the environment and its’ surrounding communities. All these challenges are in the midst of sustaining productive futures for the generation who will follow. In short, our obligation as business leaders is to ‘leave it better than we found it’. Recently, we have witnessed many corporate responsibility initiatives in recent years, aimed at regaining the public trust that has been undermined in the discovery of scandals. All are important; whether they focus on Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR), governance, supply chain integrity or sustainability. However, none of these will succeed if they are not embedded within the conceptual and practical foundation of responsible leadership that integrates the people, planet, profit and principles it governs. Corporate responsibility is first and foremost a challenge of responsible leadership.

Ever since Enron, WorldCom and other high profile cases of management failure and leadership misconduct, there has been a growing awareness that one of the core challenges, if not the challenge in business, is leading responsibly and with integrity. It is fair to say then, that the responsibility leadership is one of the most pressing issues in the business world. Or is it misunderstood? I give three examples of this misunderstanding… One, there seems to be an implicit assumption that people who take on a leadership position have a heightened sense of responsibility once they are in a leadership position. Therefore, no explicit guidance is needed and not much thought must be given to the issue of leading with integrity. Two, leadership is far too often mistaken for good management, a leader being someone who motivates people to get things done efficiently. But that is management, not leadership. Leadership is the drive behind the force of motivation. Leadership is the vision and more importantly, it is connection between management and those managed. For at best, leadership and management complement each other. At worst, we find only management but no leadership. Three, there is what Rost (1991) called the industrial paradigm in leadership research, imposing on researchers a leadership effectiveness focus and a denial that leadership is a normative phenomenon.
Maak, T. (2006). Responsible Leadership

The business in society perspective is at the core of responsible leadership. It requires a relational and transitional perspective, capturing the complexity leadership in both a moral and a practical sense, and living by sort of a rhythm that encourages at a high level of indefinite past, through the present moment, to the indefinite future. Insight and foresight, empathy and listening skills, self-knowledge and a sense of community, moral imagination and a morally sound values base are all among the hallmarks of a responsible leader. Responsible leadership involves complex, dynamic relationships based on values, emotions and mutual recognition.

I believe that while leaders need certain capabilities and should have good moral character in order to become responsible leaders, none are born that way. Nor is responsible leadership limited to an individual trait. It is rather instead, a balance of leaders’ character, the leader’s relationship with people and followers, the roles and tasks he or she fulfills. Responsible leadership depends not only on principled individuals along with their education and training, but also on a holding environmental context where responsible leaders can flourish. Whatever it is, responsible leadership has to be authentic. I pose the question to you how do you perceive your leadership capabilities? Is responsible? Is it moral? It is self serving?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kunl3F-0_A4

American Economic Truths

"In my early days in Hollywood I tried to be economical. I designed my own clothes, much to my mother's distress." Gene Tierney

An overwhelming amount of Americans in today’s society have never grown food, caught game, raised meat, ground grain into flour, or even fashioned flour into bread. If faced with the challenge of having to (literally) cloth themselves; meaning getting clothe material from live animals to make the clothes and then onto tailoring the clothes for themselves or building their own houses, these Americans would be hopelessly untrained and unprepared. Even to make minor repairs to machines, which surround them, these particular Americans must call on other members of their community (whose business it is) to fix their cars, repair plumbing, or whatever the minor repair may be. Paradoxically, perhaps, the richer the nation, the more apparent is this inability of its average inhabitants to survive unaided and alone. Short of a catastrophic war, it is highly unlikely that many Americans will know the full meaning to struggle for nothing but pure existence. Nonetheless, even in our prosperous and secure society, remains unnoticed, an aspect of life’s precariousness; which lies as a reminder of the underlying problem of our economical survival. This unfortunately, is our helplessness as American economic individuals.

It has always been a curious fact to me how Americans can feel security against some of the most impoverished people of the world. Impoverished countries where a human being with his too few calories of energy scratches out for himself a bare subsistence, we however, in America find the economic insecurity of the individual many times multiplied. In many countries, the basic expectation of human continuity is far from assured. In the vast continents of Asia and Africa, in the Near East, even in some countries of South America, brute survival is the problem which stares humanity in the face; everyday. Millions of human beings in other impoverished countries have died of starvation or malnutrition in our present era. Whole nations are acutely aware of what it means to face hunger as a condition of ordinary life. For example, it has been said that an Egyptian man, from the day he is born to the day he dies, never knows what it is to have a full stomach. In many of the so-called underdeveloped nations, the life span of the average person is less than half of an American. Not many years ago, an Indian demographer made the chilling calculation that of one hundred Asian and one hundred American infants, more Americans would be alive at sixty-five than Indians at five! The statistics, not of life, but of premature death throughout most of the world are overwhelming and crushing.
Heilbroner, R. (1962). The Making of Economic Society. The Basic Elements of Economic Thought in the Context of History.


I believe the United States has survived as a rich nation only because an army of others on whom we can call for help to do the tasks we cannot do ourselves for us. If we cannot grow food, we can buy it for another country; if we cannot provide for our needs ourselves, we can hire individuals in other countries for the needed service and in most cases, at a cheaper price. This enormous division of labor enhances our capacity a thousand fold, for it enables us to benefit from other men’s skills as well as, our own. Along with the abundance of material existence as we know it duwells a hidden vulnerability that our abundance is assured only as the organized cooperation of huge armies of people is to be counted upon. Indeed, our continuing existence as a rich nation hinges on the tacit precondition that the mechanism of social organization will continue to function effectively. We are rich, not as individuals, but as members of a rich society; and therefore, our easy assumption of material sufficiency is actually only as reliable as, the bonds which forge us into a social whole.


The problem of how societies forge and maintain the bonds; which guarantee their material survival is the basic problem of economics and more importantly, what our nation is currently facing in today’s need of a economic recovery. My conclusion of this economic chaos is that man and not nature, is the source of most of our economic problems. The economic problem itself as the need to struggle for existence derives ultimately from the scarcity of nature. If there were no scarcity, goods would be as free as air, and economics, at least in one sense of the word, would cease to exist as a social preoccupation. For scarcity, as a felt condition isn’t solely the fault of nature. If Americans in today’s society were content to live at the level of Mexican peasants, all our material wants could be fully satisfied with but an hour or two of daily labor. We would experience little or no scarcity and our economic problems would virtually disappear. Instead in America, we find as the ability to increase natures yield has risen, so has the reach of human wants. In fact, in a society like America, where relative social status is importantly connected with the possession of material goods, we often find that scarcity as a psychological experience and goal becomes more pronounced, as we grow wealthier. Meaning, our desires to possess the fruits of nature race out ahead of our mounting ability to produce goods. Scarcity is therefore, not attributable to nature alone but to human nature as well, and for the purpose of rebuilding the American economy; man’s nature.

Economics is ultimately concerned not merely with the stinginess of the physical environment, but equally with the appetite of the human temperament of our wants and desires. Therefore, I pose the question to you, how do you base your economic success? Is it by your possessions? Look inside yourself and your lifestyle, it may be the very reason why there is an economical struggle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxrGJGK8apM

Controlled Thinking

Thinking is the ultimate human resource. Thinking is a skill, yet we are never satisfied with this most important skill to our human nature. No matter how good we become in our God given talents throughout our lifetime, we should always want to be better! Usually, the only people who are very satisfied with their thinking skill level are those poor thinkers who believe that the purpose of thinking only is to prove themselves right as 'experts' with regards to their own personal satisfaction in accessing someone else to be wrong.

The main difficulty of thinking is confusion. This is because when thoughts occur within us, we in habitat other resources such as emotion, information, logic, hope, and creativity within our thoughts. If emotions and feelings are not permitted as inputs in the thinking process, they will lurk in the background and affect all the thinking in a hidden way. Emotions, feelings, hunches and intuitions are strong and real. Once emotions have been made visible by acknowledgment from oneself, then an attempt may be made to explore and even change them. Thinking can change emotions. It is not the logical part of thinking that changes emotions but the perceptual part. If we see something differently than we did before, our emotions may alter with the altered perception.

Critical thinking is a very important part of thinking, but it is not sufficient to cover the notion that critical thinking alone is enough to have gained when training a critical mind. However, I believe critical thinking to be important because critical thinking can in habitat constructive thinking; and constructive thinking is positive in attitude. That is, constructive thinking enables modification to an idea proposed for improvement and strength.

Thinking often proceeds to drift and react to what turns up from moment to moment. There is a background sense of purpose, but this is never spelled out either as an overall objective or as sub-objective. Suggestions, judgment, criticism, information and plain emotion are all mixed together in a sort of thinking stew. It seems to be a matter of messing around until a thinker stumbles on some tried approach that seems to achieve what is desired. It is a haphazard exploration of experience strongly guided by negative criticism. The underlying assumption is that reasonably intelligent people provided with enough background information will, in the course of a discussion for the purpose of a decision, list the action options and choose the most suitable.

DeBono, E. (1985). Six Thinking Hats.

There is also the assumption that the thinking will be molded by past experience and present constraints in such a way that an outcome evolves and is purified by criticism. The analogy with evolution is a direct one, for in ‘Darwinism Evolution’ there is survival of the fittest species ideology and in the 'Thinking Concept' there is survival of the best suited idea. The biggest enemy of thinking is complexity, for that leads to confusion. When thinking is clear and simple, it becomes more enjoyable and more effective.

Therefore, I purpose the usage of a new concept to enter your thinking habitats to help you gain a new age of thinking capabilities. This concept merely relies on the ability to simplify your thinking; by allowing yourself to deal with one thing at a time. Instead of having to take care of emotions, logic, information, hope and creativity all at the same time, deal with them separately. Instead of using logic to support a half disguised emotion, just bring the emotion to the surface without any need to justify it. By doing so, you can think better with a more practical and uniquely positive approach to making decisions and exploring new ideas. It’s use can create a climate of clearer thinking, improved communication, and a greater sense of creativity. Allowing a switch in your thinking habitat can decrease confusion in your life’s matters and increase your thought power to successful desired results; in business or in life .

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” Zig Ziglar

Gaining God’s Favor

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Looking back over my life, I can honestly say that God has been awesome to me. My list of unfulfilled requests is a short one comprised of all the things I still anticipate receiving in God’s own perfect timing for me. Why am I so confident in receiving an abundance of unfulfilled requests? It certainly isn’t because I’m more spiritual than the next person. I know many people who pray more, read their Bible more, and simply know more about God than I do. However, being a super-Christian is not a prerequisite to being super blessed. On the contrary to this ‘I am a Saint Christian’ ideology, is what God has stated clearly in the Bible; that his intent is for all his children to live a blessed and purposeful life. As if giving us the gift of life wasn’t enough, God enlisted we each give him all the strife and burdens associated with our existence on earth to allow us the benefit of living an abundant life.

As I have sought to understand why some folks are blessed more abundantly than others, God’s word has confirmed for me that his ultimate desire is for all to live a blessed life that is overflowing with God’s rich provision and goodness as we cooperate with God’s spirit to become more and more like Jesus Christ and therefore, in God’s grace and covenant. This means we each as individuals, transform into our blessed states at different moments and opportunities over our lifetime. We each have different lessons and challenges to learn and adapt in order to gain the necessary level of obedience that gets us closer in our personal relationship with God; and therefore, in God’s favor.

“Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, you have favor with God.’ Luke 1:29-30”.

For God to bless you and keep you, he must be looking at you. And when he looks at you, he must be pleased with what he sees in you by your mind, your heart and your spirit. So that therefore, God must like what your output into the world is. Favor by God proposes that God must be inspired to be gracious towards you. The truth is that as long as God is looking at you, you can obtain the peace that surpasses all humanistic understanding. This is because as long as God is looking at you and your output into the world, you can be sure that you are basking under the watchful eye of his protection. On the other hand, should God look away from your output in the world, the enemy (whether internally or externally) will use that very opportunity to host a field day by inhabiting your soul. Because God is full of righteousness and perfect will, he will not participate in what does not please him.

So if blessings are all about having God’s undivided attention, then surely favor is basking in the smile of God. Whenever we are obedient and coherent to God’s word, things happen in our favor because he has to respond to our obedience by showing up in our situation and showing us out the discourse of the situation. However, you should be cautious as obedience and good intentions are not one in the same. Obedience requires a ‘will’ to do what is right, while conceding good intentions reflects your ‘desire’ to do the good thing. The difference? A willful mind always progresses past desire mind! God is not moved by our good intentions, but rather our direct obedience to his order and commands. Hammond, M, (2001). How to be Blessed & Highly Favored .

My brothers and sisters in the Lord God, I say all this to say no battle is won without God. Sometimes it will seem like God is placing more on your plate than you can stand or requesting more from you than you can give; but God’s understanding is beyond our own. Sometimes God will request more because you deserve more, sometimes he will place more on your plate to gain more. When God’s favor is about to show through you, he will place you in what seems to be impossible extreme conditions as an opportunity to prove his power and shower favor onto the situation.

Ready and prepared to face the battle and gain God’s favor?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZx_2menZzI

The Economy’s Political Gain or Political Strain?

“You can’t legislate morality.” Benjamin Franklin

What accounts for the change in CEO pay isn’t any market imperative. It’s cultural. At a time when average workers are experiencing little or no income growth, many of America’s CEOs have lost any sense of shame about grabbing whatever their pliant, handpicked corporate boards will allow them. Americans understand the economical damage as an unethical torment of politician greed. In a recent survey in the USA Today, Americans ranked corruption in government and business with greed and materialism, as two of the three most important moral challenges facing the nation. Of course, raising kids with the right values ranked first.

And yet every parent, liberal or conservative, complains about the coarsening of the American culture, the promotion of easy materialism and instant gratification, and the severing of sexuality from intimacy. They may not want government censorship, but they want those concerns recognized and their experiences validated. Fearful, parents start listening to those leaders who may be less sensitive to constitutional constraints and more direct in their concerns. Conservatives however, have their own blind spots when it comes to addressing problems in the culture. Take executive pay. In 1980, the average CEO made forty-two times what an average hourly worker took home. By 2005, the ratio was 262 to 1. Conservatives outlets like the Wall Street Journal’s editorial page, try to justify outlandish salaries and stock options as necessary to attract top talent, and suggest that the American economy actually performs better when America’s corporate leaders are fat and happy with cash. But the recent explosion in CEOs pay has had little to do with improved performance. In fact, some of the country’s most highly compensated CEOs over the past decade have presided over huge massive layoffs, and the underfunding of their workers’ pension funds. Conservatives may be right when they argue that the government shouldn’t try to determine executive pay packages. But conservatives should at least be willing to speak out against unseemly behavior in corporate boardrooms with the same moral force, the same sense of outrage, which they direct against dirty rap lyrics.
Obama, B. (2006). The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming The American Dream

Most of the other sins of politics are derivative of this larger sin of cash in hand. One of the other political sins includes the need to win; but also the need not to lose. Prevention of losing at any cost is a clear demise of our American government. Certainly that’s what the money chase is all about. There was a time, before campaign finance laws and snooping reporters, when money shaped politics through outright bribery. A time when a politician could treat his campaign fund as his personal bank account and accept fancy junkets; when the shape of legislation went to the highest bidder. If recent news reports are accurate, these ranker forms of corruption have not gone away entirely; apparently there are still those in Washington who view politics as a means of getting rich rather than gaining the richness of the American culture. Some politicians however, money isn’t about getting rich. In the Senate, at least, most members are already rich! For them, it’s about maintaining status and power. Although, money can’t guarantee victory and cannot buy passion or charisma, without it you are pretty much guaranteed to lose.

So what is the solution to corrupt politicians and securing the American economy back to its feet? The last time we faced an economic transformation as disruptive as the one we face today; President Roosevelt led the nation to a new social compact. President Roosevelt bargained between government, business and workers that resulted in widespread prosperity and economic security for more than fifty years. This was conducted by conveying to the average American worker, a security rested upon three pillars:
1st: The ability to find a job that paid enough to support a family and save for emergencies
2nd: A packaged health care system and retirement benefits from employers
3rd A government safety net of guaranteed Social Security, Medicaid & Medicare benefits, Unemployment Insurance and Federal Bankruptcy & Pension protections


Why is this important: Check out this URL for “Did you know” and see why.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpEnFwiqdx8

Addressing Difficult Conversations

One important and verifiable truth about the mishandling of difficult conversations is the apprehension concentrated on conceivable consequences the difficult conversation can lead to. But one must note that difficult conversations are never about getting the facts straightened out equitable, but difficult conversations rather include expressing conflicting perceptions of personal interpretations and values. If you were to take a more ‘learning stance’ towards the difficult conversation, instead of a ‘message stance’ your focus will internally shift into what you can do differently during the conversation to engage enhancement, rather than of what you can say differently.

In a difficult conversation the real action is seen below the surface. The underlined conversations we have internally about what the external and difficult conversation ‘means’ to us individually can bestow doubtful questions and concerns into who we are as a person. Are they suggesting I am competent or incompetent? A good person or bad person? Worthy of love or simply unlovable? Think about the impacts this systematic thinking allowed will have on your self-esteem, self-image and therefore your future and its’ well being. The gap between what you’re really thinking vs. what it is actually being said causes the “difficult” conversation to occur.

There are three types of difficult conversations:
1st “The What Happened Difficult Conversation”: This conversation asks, what just happened? What should happen? Who meant what & who is to blame?
2nd “The Feelings Difficult Conversation”: This conversation asks & answers questions directly related to feelings. Are these feelings appropriate and valid? Should I deny these feelings & put them on the table? What about the other person’s feelings? Did I consider them?
3rd “ The Identity Conversation”: This conversation identifies questions about the conversation and what it ‘means’ to us internally. Here are where questions of self-esteem, self-worth & self-image come into play. Am I good person or bad person because of what I said in the conversation? Did I display love? Do I know how to love? Do I deserve love?

Knowing each type of difficult conversation creates an occasion to transcend your internal standpoint into a ‘learning stance’ and engage in an opportunity exchanged with focusing on doing differently instead of saying differently. Learning to operate effectively with each realm of a difficult conversation can increase productivity within your life and lessen the fear associated with dealing with difficult conversations. Being a great leader requires conflict; coping with a difficult conversation is comprised of conflict. Therefore, I encourage you to stop arguing about who is right or wrong and just explore each other’s stories within the difficult conversation. For arguing only inhabitants our abilities as individuals to learn.

“There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up. Therefore, we must reinforce argument with results.”
Booker T Washington

Walking In Your Talk

“A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself as liar.”
Mark Twain

Often people say one thing and do another. They desire something, and then unconsciously sabotage it. They begin with a hopeful intention and then find themselves at crossed purposes. Dreams and wishes seem to give waylaid by life’s circumstances so that your existence becomes ‘a life of quiet desperation’. However, it does not have to be this way. Walking in complete faith of what you talk can make your dreams reality and wishes possible.

It is possible that even your successes and failures in life have something to do with your carriage, your walk, your gestures and not just the words you say? Body language affects everything including your relationships, your potency, and your self-image; which, in turn affects your happiness, personal power, and, ultimately, your health. Back pain, sexual impotence, immune and anxiety disorders, and headaches can often be traced back to how you use your body every moment of your life. You are not just communicating with others when you talk, but you are constantly communicating to your entire organism; which is your body. Your clenched jaw, gripped buttocks, jutting chin affect other people even while it is also affecting your nervous system, skeletal organization, and the circulation of your blood.

We all have an invisible sixth sense, the kinesthetic sense. Our kinesthetic sense is what teaches us how to ride a bike, gives us our spatial orientation and our ability to recognize a friend or foe. Yet we are as unaware of this kinesthetic process and how it works, as a fish is to water. Most of our lives are spent oblivious to kinesthetic habits and reactions that are constantly affecting our attitudes, perceptions, and behavior. Awareness of this kinesthetic sense could be called embodiment, literally living in the body. By experiencing fully what takes place in our standing, walking, talking, making love, or fighting episodes, it’s possible not only to attain what you want in this world; whether financial success, creative fulfillment, or healthy relationships, but you can also become a different person by understanding and transforming the tool with which you chiefly, and knowingly, engage into the world; your talk.
Plonka, L. (2007). Changing Your Life Through The Magic of Body Language

The Bible’s exhortation to love your neighbor as yourself is more challenging than it at first appears because it requires you to love yourself first. God tells us in through the Bible that in order to truly love him, you must love his people. Before you can love yourself you must know how you loving others to understand other people’s need for compassion. Try to experiment with seeing your tensions in your interactions with other people. See what happens in an argument, for example, or if you can sense your tensions as you talk. Are you embodying compassion? Intentionally changing one aspect of an attitude by taking a deep breath, for example, can shift the entire posture and change the entire interaction. By learning to observe your body language, you can begin to identify the postures of not loving yourself and thus, not loving others. I believe this is the first step toward developing a compassionate stance that can improve your connections to others and match your walk to your talk.

A Woman’s Identity Crisis

In today’s world, women must step up to plate and decide what they will ‘allow’ from a man in order to determine the purpose that man will play into their life. For the sake of having a man, countless women have begun to settle for a new, watered-down versions of manhood. Yet these women long for much more. Not realizing that the low expectations ‘allowed’ from their men further perpetuate the downward trend of themselves.

One of the things that garners respect in the heart of a woman, which is a prerequisite to her willingness to submit to her man, is wisdom. A woman needs a man whom she can trust to make wise decisions. Head knowledge alone cannot make a man an effective head of the house, as priest and leader. Only a man who is able to seek the rich counsel of the Lord for insight can lead his loved ones wisely. God is the source of that wisdom. The Bible promises that those who know their God will be strong and accomplish great things! (Daniel 11: 32.)

The world says that behind every great man is a great woman. This is true. God has placed very specific gifts inside a woman that empower a man to be all that he was created to be. However, no man skips the process of transformation that must occur into manhood, except by his own choosing. All men must first be broken before becoming a worthy vessel that can please God and gain honor in the eyes of a woman.

One of the most beautiful things I ever heard a wife say about her husband was: “It feels as if God loves me through my husband. It’s almost as if he anticipants my needs and meets them before I even say a word.” Only a man who prays and hears from God can do such a thing for his wife.
Hammond, M. (2003). In Search of the Proverbs 31 Man

I say all that to say: Women it is time to get serious! Women need men who will seek God’s face and secure our future by their obedience to God’s instructions and thus securing a woman’s needs even when the need isn’t yet seen. A woman’s willingness to ‘allow’ a man to treat her with respect will help her gain self-respect, but her willingness to ‘allow’ disrespect from a man will diminish her self-worth and value that God has created woman for.

Accepting Responsibility Creates Opportunities of Advancements

“Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.” John F. Kennedy

Living the life intended for you may be a struggle. Many times within our lives we find that someone or something has prevented us from obtaining a goal we have decided to achieve. However, instead of accepting someone else’s condition into your life’s existence or allowing something to prevent your dreams from becoming your reality; remember to focus pointing the finger at yourself. What did you do that allowed someone or something to interfere with your goal? Use every situation as an opportunity to learn and advance for the next battle you are to face. Blame is generational and unfortunately for those that continue its’ use, it can be destructive. Destructive to the very essence of your ethics and more importantly of your sense of self-worth. Although it may be true that your boss is a racist, your husband or wife might be a liar and a cheater, your mother may have been a drug addict, but, in light of those circumstances, you have to decided to assume your right to live the life that has been intended for you thru God's purpose.

The first challenge to addressing yourself within blame is to develop a strategy that focuses on where you are going, what you would like to see happen, rather than having your face attached to the rearview mirror, always looking back at what was done and who did it. Therefore, developing a strategy that is based on destiny and not history is vital. Focusing only on what was wrong in your childhood will only leave you frustrated and stuck in the past. Look forward in your life. You have the power to lift yourself beyond any dismal realities that you may face.

It is important to know that we were created to be leaders, innately and instinctively. Humans are leader, exceeding any other living being. GOD has placed us within the position to be living species who can continue to work on ourselves. We have the power to evolve, transform, develop, relocate, rebuild, reinvent, or do whatever else is necessary to achieve our goals. We who have been victimized by someone else’s decision can sit like lepers and die at the gate of blame and complain or we can emerge with a strategy that enables us to say, “I am too valuable to die, too tenacious to wait on anyone’s mercy, and too creative to accept your neglect as my destiny.” Blaming yourself is not necessarily positive, but refusing to blame others and deciding to take responsibility for you, for your situation, can empower you to make choices and decisions that you will never regret and face forward towards your goals.
Jakes, T. (2008). Before You Do: Making Great Decisions That You Won’t Regret

Having ‘Decision’ Power Over Your Life

“Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.”

Napoleon Bonaparte

I can trace every success or failure in my life back to something I did or didn’t decide effectively. Whether in the course of developing relationships, doing business, selecting investments, or accepting invitations, I’ve found a direct correlation between my location on life’s highway and my decisions to turn, exit, stop, and start.

If we are to be good stewards of great opportunities, we must show respect for those opportunities by the level of diligence to which we prepare for the next move. Relationship decisions are among the most opportune choices in your life. No others leave as many footprints alongside your own on life’s journey as those you make to unite yourself with another person emotionally, sexually and or spiritually. Many times we make poor decisions because we have decided what success looks like instead of what it entails. Due diligence must include a heart check. Is the goal good looks or good character? Wealth or happiness? Safety or excitement?

To those of us who often procrastinate on the decision because we feel intimidated by lack of education or any area of weakness: it is not how much you know that arms you with the tools of great decision making, but rather how much you ask of those tools. My point? Ask questions. This is the first step you can take in making your decision power influence your life and create changes within your life's options.

Jakes, T. (2008). Before You Do:Making Great Decisions That You Won't Regret

The Hidden Strengths of Minority Leadership

Minority professionals often hold leadership roles outside work, serving as pillars of their communities and churches and doing more than their share of mentoring. If you know many minority professionals (particularly women of color) then you know that these are the people who are called upon inordinately to lend their energies, perspectives, and guidance to activities outside their jobs. Because they have “made it,” and because often they have done so against heavy odds, they are mentors of choice to young people in their surrounding communities.
Within their workplaces, they serve on numerous diversity seeking task forces and spearhead minority recruitment efforts. They play high-profile volunteer roles in their towns, schools, and churches, and the amount of time they invest in these roles is substantial. In the words of Ella Bell, a professor at Dartmouth’s Tuck School of Business, “Minorities comprise the backbone of religious organizations and provide a significant part of the energy driving community service in the United States.”

For many minority professionals, involvement in such activities is an important, inherently satisfying part of their lives. For some, it’s a way of giving back and or, more accurately, giving in turn the kind of help that benefited them early on. But it’s also a fertile source of continued personal growth. In these myriad roles, minority professionals own valuable leadership skills.
For example, Sheryl Battles is an African-American Vice President of corporate communications at a major global corporation. In addition to her primary responsibility managing executive and investor communications, she coordinates the corporation’s communications on issues of diversity and in that capacity supports 30 to 40 events a year. It’s a task that constitutes just 5% of her official job description but consumes roughly 25% of her 50-hour workweek. In her personal life, she speaks at community events and career seminars for minority students and is involved in the church that she, her husband, and their daughter attend. She is also on the board of a local organization for the arts and has been active in its African-American Cultural Heritage Series since its inception over a decade ago.

Over the years, Sheryl Battles has accumulated substantial cultural capital. Cultural capital is impossible to measure with any precision but is undeniably vital for anyone who wishes to exert influence through leadership in a neighborhood, a company, or a nation. Everyone accumulates a measure of cultural capital in their lives, but in the case of minority professionals, it is unusually rich. West, C. (2005). Leadership in Your Midst: Tapping the Hidden Strengths of Minority Executives. Harvard Business Review. 113-115 (2), 113-117.

You too can tap into your leadership capabilities through acknowledgement and gained cultural capital. Ask yourself, what are you doing to add value and encouragement towards society and better yet; your current surroundings?

“A battle lost or won is easily described, understood, and appreciated, but the moral growth of a great nation requires reflection, as well as observation, to appreciate it.” Frederick Douglass

Empower Your Life Now With POSITIVITY

Positive thinking can enable you to balance your emotional, physical and social surroundings and awareness by diverting adverse contradictions to those opportunities you want to achieve. Positive thinking includes the gained feelings of gratitude, hope, faith and most importantly love. With the attained balance positive thinking incorporates, your acquire possibilities advancing your capabilities and leading to your ensured abilities.

While at first, positive thinking is not an easy tool to inherit, with preparation of time commitment and constant development affirmations you can be successful in reaching positivism’s maximum potentiality.

It is important for anyone to gain positive thinking because:
Grants a person to view all prospects within alternate possibilities and outcomes of any situation they face (whether positive or negative)
Acknowledges a better allowance of openness to other people socially and encourages you to become more helpful to their needs
Concedes a person to have greater and more prosperous reactions to outcomes of life (whether in business, school or home)
Allows higher sales in business through acceptance of competition and new opportunities
Encourages a faster and more willingness for growth in education through an openness to new educational challenges

So now you may be asking how I can empower my life with positive thinking. The answer is simple; take my 3 to 1 ratio challenge. Decide from today and throughout your life’s future for every negative occurrence to or thru you, you will implement at least three positive events, thoughts or actions. Though this challenge may be hard at first, the benefits of its continual occurrence will secure better rewards for balancing your emotional, physical and social surroundings and awareness; by the empowerment of controlling your own ability to shift and shape your thoughts.